Welcome to Short Sports, End of the Bench’s weekly fake sports news program. Every Friday we will bring you the sports headlines you missed along with jokes from some of the best writers in the biz.

In this episode…

An era officially comes to an end for Tom Brady, a Missouri congressman has officially chirped on record, scientists found the coldest thing in the universe, Kyrie says we should praise Lebron more and a 22-year-old basketball coach did something incredibly stupid.

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