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Product Reviews: Bauer Supreme Ultrasonic Hockey Stick
The only stick you need.
by Clay Beyersdorfer
The Supreme Ultrasonic is hands down one of the best hockey sticks on the market, a staple of Bauer’s newest one-piece line.
Each stick comes patented with the manufacturer’s popular Moncomp technology, reducing excess material which results in a consistent loading time when preparing to shoot, as well as optimum durability that will last through the harsh weather conditions after your kids inevitably leave it out in the yard.
The length is the perfect size for both men and women and will help improve puck control and is also great for reaching for something on the top shelf, cleaning your gutters, or knocking down icicles as they form during the colder winter months.
This model has a sleek design with a seven-sided shaft in the lower section of the stick that reduces the weight and amount of torque when aiming, providing the power you’ll need to startle your nosey neighbors as they watch you take late-night slap shots at your garage door.
From top to bottom, the shaft has tight square corners with pristine sidewalls laid with the best tacky substance on the market that provides the best grip possible, or at least the kind of grip you’ll need to hit that wrister at your brother-in-law, Gary, who moved in last year after his divorce.
A shot off the blade of a Bauer Supreme Ultrasonic Hockey Stick will send a message that says, “Get off my couch and get a job you lazy son of a bitch.”
Skeptics will point out that the frame is lightweight at only 390 grams but don’t worry, it will still provide that same thunderclap sound when it gets knocked over onto your garage floor.
But don’t just trust us, hear what others are saying about the Bauer Supreme Ultrasonic Hockey Stick.
“I scared off a burglar with my Bauer Supreme Ultrasonic Hockey Stick, it was well worth it. - Harold, 42, Minnesota.
“I used my Bauer Supreme Ultrasonic Hockey Stick to shovel out of my parking spot, the bend of the blade is wicked good at scooping powder,” - Audrey, 32, Massachusetts.
“Not the word’s worst back scratcher,” - Jerry, 53, Canada.
So the next time you’re looking to take your hockey game to the next level or to scare away a gathering of raccoons going through your trash, do so with the Bauer Supreme Ultrasonic Hockey Stick.
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