End of the Bench

Share this post

Study Reveals Each MLB Team Plays Staggering 162 Games Per Season

www.endofthebenchsports.com

Discover more from End of the Bench

Fake Sports News, Humor & Satire
Continue reading
Sign in

Study Reveals Each MLB Team Plays Staggering 162 Games Per Season

Insanity?

May 8, 2023
2
Share this post

Study Reveals Each MLB Team Plays Staggering 162 Games Per Season

www.endofthebenchsports.com
Share

By Dave Henry

A new report by ESPN Stats and More Stats has uncovered a staggering statistic — each Major League Baseball team plays an astounding 162 games, per season.

“I couldn’t believe it at first, I thought my math was off. But then I crunched the numbers again and again and lo and behold, they were indeed correct,” said Enzo Rodriguez, chief statistician at ESPN. “It’s truly mind-boggling and quite frankly insane.”

But it helped him to explain why baseball was declining in popularity.

“It’s just way too many [expletive] games," said Rodriguez. “Pardon my French, but there’s just too many games, that are too long, with too little action. And they thought shortening each game by a half hour would somehow help? No wonder the sport is dying. You can’t ask that much of your fans without giving them something in return.”

Rodriguez also shared that each MLB team plays almost every day, for six months straight, literally half the year, on top of Spring Training and potential playoffs - leading to a possible it’s 8 months straight “of boring ass baseball.”

“No one can possibly pay attention to, much less care about, a team that plays that often,” he added. “Can you remember the last time you cared about something 162 times? I don’t even love my kids that much.”

Thank you for reading End of the Bench! Share this post or we will make you watch all 162 games.

Share

Rodriguez added that “times have changed” and it's time the game do the same.

“The sport was invented in the 1800s when there was literally nothing to do, I mean nothing. No TV, no internet, and few books,” the amateur baseball historian said. “People would literally sit around and stare at each other when they were done working backbreaking 14-hour days at factories. They were catatonic from working all day and just needed something to sit there and watch every day after work, no matter how boring, no matter how long. It got this country through two World Wars if you ask me.”

But today there are “endless” ways to while away the day’s empty hours -- from mindless doom scrolling to watching third-rate subpar shows on Netflix-- so there is no longer a need for that daily drumbeat of baseball games, Rodriguez said.

“Cut the schedule in half — 81 games. It works for hockey and basketball,” he said. "That’s the answer.”

When reached for comment about the study’s findings, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred was pessimistic about the idea of cutting the season in half.

“That’s quite possibly one of the most preposterous ideas I have ever heard,” said Manfred, while swimming in a sea of hundred-dollar bills and the bones of famished minor league players. “And quite frankly, a complete violation of the integrity of the game.”

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.


Thanks for reading End of the Bench! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work.

Related stories:

10 Memorable Pitch Interferences in MLB History

June 2, 2022
10 Memorable Pitch Interferences in MLB History

By Audrey Clark 10. Randy Johnson kills a bird Number ten is the iconic 2001 match where Randy Johnson threw a fastball directly into a passing bird. The bird died, but the game continued, marking it as one of the wildest moments in MLB history. 9. Randy Johnson kills a second bird

Read full story

MLB Honors Military Appreciation Month with Loud Fireworks, Large Crowds

May 11, 2022
MLB Honors Military Appreciation Month with Loud Fireworks, Large Crowds

by Clay Beyersdorfer NEW YORK - Major League Baseball announced last week that every game played during the month of May will feature “fireworks and patriots” in honor of service members both past and present during Military Appreciation Month. “We’re opening our ballparks to the masses this May, aiming to get as many people inside of our venues as we can…

Read full story

Fireworks Shortage Forces MLB to Use Dynamite for Fourth of July Festivities

June 30, 2022
Fireworks Shortage Forces MLB to Use Dynamite for Fourth of July Festivities

NEW YORK - Major League Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred announced Thursday that the league will use dynamite in place of fireworks at every ballpark’s celebration of Independence Day this coming weekend. The announcement comes amid a fireworks shortage nationwide, yet another industry affected by

Read full story
2
Share this post

Study Reveals Each MLB Team Plays Staggering 162 Games Per Season

www.endofthebenchsports.com
Share
Previous
Next
Comments
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 End Of The Bench Sports
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing