Seattle Mariners Apologize For Inappropriate Kurt Cobain Bobblehead Day Promo

By Joe Fernandez

SEATTLE—Anger resonated throughout the Seattle sports community Tuesday following the Mariners' ill-advised Kurt Cobain bobblehead promotion at T-Mobile Park.

“Everyone in the Mariners organization would like to apologize for what we thought would be a great way to commemorate one of Seattle’s most iconic artists,” a spokesperson for the Mariners said in a statement released shortly after the backlash. “We didn’t need to make it look as accurate as it did. Our bad.”

The apology seemed to go unnoticed, as fans felt the team intended it as a publicity stunt to divert attention from the franchise’s consistently lackluster offense.

“If they weren’t trying to create a stir with this promo, then why did they also put conspiracy theories on the bobblehead about how Courtney Love may have murdered Kurt?” local Seattle sports radio host Drew Horton said. “Literally on the bottom of the bobblehead, it says, ‘How could Kurt’s fingers have reached the trigger? Think about it….’This is a Dipoto smoke screen, ladies and gentlemen.”

The bobblehead was given to the first 10,000 fans at Monday night’s game, and given its crass nature, vitriol toward the promotion began immediately.

“Why is my son getting a bobblehead with blood dripping down the side?” Douglas Randall, a 44-year-old father of three, was heard screaming as his five-year-old son began to cry after receiving the bobblehead. “You could have easily done one of Eddie Vedder or, if you wanted to do a Nirvana band member, why not Dave Grohl?! My son’s now going to associate this with baseball forever!”

Many in baseball have said this is the worst promotion scandal since the Boston Braves did bobbleheads of Lizzie Borden’s parents in what was referred to as “The Great Bobblehead Fiasco of 1899.”

Mariners officials have said they will put more thought into their promotions before releasing them.

Jerry DiPoto also adamantly denied the allegation that these promos are a diversion from his lack of off-season moves and success as the team's general manager.

“Let me be clear. In no way, shape, or form am I trying to create a distraction to the fact that I am wasting the best years of Logan Gilbert, George Kirby, Bryan Wo,o and Bryce Miller.” DiPoto said.

“We want our giveaways to exemplify the cultural significance of Seattle icons and in no way make people think of something other than my failure to create an even mildly effective offense to support one of the best pitching staffs ever assembled.”

The Mariners have announced that this weekend’s promotion will be “Frasier Fridays” in honor of the Seattle-based TV show. The first 10,000 fans through the gate will receive figurines of actor Kelsey Grammer driving while drinking from a flask.

End of the Bench will have more on this story after we pay respect to Nirvana.

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