Running Back Injuries at All-Time High Under Biden

Come on, man.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Amidst falling poll numbers, President Joe Biden received more grim news this week when it was reported that Tennessee Titans star running back Derrick Henry would need surgery on his foot, requiring him to miss the rest of the 2021 season.The injury marks yet another significant blow to fantasy owners everywhere, and what some are saying is just the latest stain on the early Joe Biden administration.“It’s no surprise we’re having so many injuries to running backs this year, now Derrick Henry. This country is getting softer every day,” your father posted on Facebook. “Running backs were having career years from 2016 to 2020 and then BAM! They're now dropping like flies. Coincidence!?!?”It’s no secret that the Biden administration has faced its early troubles, including a botched exit in Afghanistan, rising crime numbers, and a massive border surge topped off with a country still struggling to contain the COVID-19 virus - all in just the first year of his presidency.His impact hadn't yet translated into the world of sports, “until this week,” according to your uncle.“Big government has now infiltrated the most sacred tradition in our country [football],” your uncle said in a live stream from the front seat of his truck. “Knees, ACLs, ankles, shoulders, every player’s bones are just softer these days, but hey, at least the bad man isn’t tweeting again, right?”Henry joins an extensive list of top-tier running backs that have suffered serious injuries this season, including Christian McCaffery, Nick Chubb, Kareem Hunt, J.K. Dobbins, and Chris Carson - all considered top options for their respective teams.With the growing list of superstars headed to the injury list, games have been seen by some as more sloppy, prompting them to consider their in-person attendance moving forward.“I’m not going to any more games, these players aren’t tough anymore,” your grandpa wrote you in a letter. “I had him [Henry] on my fantasy team and everything, started for years...plug and play, no problem. Then Old Joe gets in the White House and everything goes to shit. I’m done.”With Joe Biden and NFL runningbacks both seemingly headed in the wrong direction, Democrats and fantasy owners everywhere are already fearing a “disastrous” 2024.“I don’t know how they’re going to make it,” an inside source tells EOTB.


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