Older Siblings Listed as “Probable” for Easter Weekend at Home

by Clay Beyersdorfer

YOUR HOUSE - Following some back and forth during a “busy” Spring semester, your older siblings are now listed as “probable” for this weekend’s Easter festivities, sources tell End of the Bench.

The siblings, who attend colleges on opposite coasts, are slated to come home just in time for Good Friday night mass, as well as the five separate Easter celebrations your family is scheduled to attend over the course of the weekend.

“If they [your family] get both kids back, the entire dynamic of the weekend changes,” an inside source tells EOTB. “Between the Easter egg hunts, the egg painting, the baskets - the entire landscape of the holiday weekend will shift.”

The source elaborated on the potential impact of having both your siblings back in time for the huge series of holiday events.

“Mom always plays at a different level around the holidays, but with a full squad home, you won’t even recognize her. Snacks, decorations, and overall energy you've not seen in months," they added. 

While the mid-week outlook for a return is positive, some are less bullish on your sibling’s potential return to the homestead.

“They came home during Christmas break, and it was a disaster. Rolling in late at night from the local bar, drunk as fuck, destroying my kid's snowman,” your next-door neighbor said. “As far as I’m concerned, they’re both bums, and they can stay gone.”

Despite that sentiment your siblings' look like they're going to give it a go, bringing what would have been a ho-hum Easter weekend back from the dead.

End of the Bench will update this story as it develops.