O Lost Parlay
'Tis the season
By Mike Range
End of the Bench Sports presents this holiday public service announcement--please don't throw away your kids' gift money on a five-team parlay...
(Sing to the tune of "O Christmas Tree")
O lost parlay, o lost parlay
I really thought I'd cash in
But fate said, "Hey - you lose today!"
It happens way too often
The Rams came through, to start my week
The Lions too - the Vikings beat
Things went my way, to start my play
I really liked my chances
Thanks, Tennessee, you lost for me
My Jaguars pick… proved lovely
Then Brock Purdy beat Tom Brady
San Fran covered the measly three
I would have won, had I stopped there
But a five-game bet… is what I'd dared
The final game, was such a shame
I took Seattle, gave three
O lost parlay, the Seahawks played
Like shi - well let's say doody
This lost parlay's my LAST parlay
I'm done, yes absolutely
That's it, no more, not worth the tears -
Although I said… the same last year
So if I play, one more parlay
So what, you gonna sue me?
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