• End of the Bench
  • Posts
  • NFL to Play Game on the Moon, Launch Space Division by 2025

NFL to Play Game on the Moon, Launch Space Division by 2025

The shield is headed to space.

By Dave Henry

MOON - In an effort to expand its reach, the NFL announced plans to play a game on the moon next year.

“The Moon Bowl as we call it, is our first step in our multi-year intergalactic expansion plan,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “Ultimately our plan is to launch the NFL Space Division by 2025 with teams on Mars, Tatooine, Epsilon Eridani, Kepler 16b, Andromeda, Pandora, 55 Cancri e, and Gilese 667 Cc.”

Goodell said the Moon is the perfect venue for a game in many ways, as it has many built-in craters, which will serve as perfect “bowls” if you will, for maximum viewing pleasure. The game will be played at Catena Littrow.

Some concerns are the unbreathable air and extreme temperatures, but with the proper suits and helmets, the NFL can get around that.

“Look, football players wear helmets. They are used to that, so it will be very normal for them to wear life-giving space helmets,” Goodell said.

Weightlessness is also a potential challenge, but Goodell chose to look at the bright side.

“We did some test games up there with the approval of NASA and we found that because the ball is weightless, there is the potential for some spectacular football plays like 4000-yard touchdown passes,” Goodell said. “Think of how players could pad their stats.”

The first Moon Bowl will be played between the Lions and Commanders because if for some reason something goes wrong and they can’t get back in time for the next week’s game, no one will care.

The game will be played on Sunday there, but because of the time zone difference, it will be on here at 3 am ET on Tuesday.

As the NFL's ultimate goal is to win every time slot on the weekly calendar, this assures the NFL ratings win in the coveted 3 am to 6 am Tuesday morning time slot, which for years has been dominated by reruns of Little House on the Prairie.

The reign of the Ingalls family will soon be over.

Join the conversation

or to participate.