Mood at Family Get Together Turns Grim After Two Different Sets of UNO Rules Discovered
PORTLAND, OR - The atmosphere at the Lowery family get-together turned grim after brothers Donald and Harry, 44 and 46, discovered that their respective families followed separate rules for the card game UNO, sources confirmed.
“Well, you can’t deflect a +2 with another +2,” said Harry with a terse voice, throwing away the pack of UNO cards all over the floor, “That’s just not how you play UNO."
Sources indicated that as soon as he stood up from his chair and walked out into the garden, the playful mood which had once characterized the entire evening disappeared, and a dull pall was cast over the living room where everyone had gathered.
Those familiar with the situation claimed that Donald then redirected his anger towards the TV show the Lowery kids were watching, shouting, “What the hell is this Paw Patrol? Do you really think dogs can be police officers?”
A seething Donald then immediately switched off the TV, causing a tense silence to take over the room.
Noises that had been previously ignored, like the clock ticking or the sound of the construction work a few houses over, seemed to grow acutely audible as everyone sat utterly motionless.
Reports say that Donald had actually canceled on baseball night with his buddies to spend more quality time with his family.
“I didn’t come all the way here just to argue whether I can or cannot use two cards of the same number in one chance,” he told the reporters that had gathered outside.
Donald was also overheard saying that his family “might as well head home."
The evening took an even further uglier turn when the wives of the Lowery brothers decided to get involved.
“I will not share gossip about the principal’s wife with anyone who believes that UNO starts with 10 cards and not 7,” said Donald’s wife, Nina.
On the flip side, Katie, Harry’s wife, was considering throwing away the portions of food she had made for Donald and his family.
"They don't deserve a single plate of this buffalo chicken dip," she added.
Sources close to the family indicated the children attempted to remain as still as possible after a small noise made by one of them while eating caused all of the adults to whip their heads around with an expression conveying how bleak the state of affairs was.
Harry then instructed his children to go to their rooms and complete their homework.
“Finish your homework,” Harry said, “Because I guess we’re finished with the integrity of UNO here."
**update to original story**
End of the Bench has learned that the situation has once again further escalated, as Harry declared that "while they’re under his roof, only his rules of UNO will be followed."
Thanks for reading End of the Bench! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work.