Mike Breen Arrested for Yelling “Bang” Too Loud at the Airport

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By Clay Beyersdorfer

NEW YORK— The celebrated voice of NBA broadcasts, Mike Breen, known for his iconic "Bang!" call, was arrested at JFK Airport over the weekend, for allegedly causing a public disturbance after repeatedly shouting his famed catchphrase at a decibel level that authorities deemed "a terroristic threat."

Witnesses say the incident unfolded amid a routine security check. Breen, reportedly excited about the upcoming 2024 NBA Finals between the Dallas Mavericks and Boston Celtics, began yelling "Bang!" with increasing enthusiasm every time a TSA agent found a prohibited item in a passenger's luggage. 

Initially met with chuckles, his commentary quickly escalated into chaos as alarmed travelers mistook the exuberant shouts for something far more sinister.

"We understand that Mr. Breen was merely engaging in what he does best—providing electrifying play-by-play commentary," said TSA spokesperson Jane Reynolds. "However, in a post-9/11 world, repeatedly screaming 'Bang!' in an airport is generally frowned upon, even if it is just an homage to Jayson Tatum's three-pointers."

While no one was harmed, several passengers reported mild heart palpitations, and one elderly woman was transported to a local hospital after fainting near a Hudson News stand. 

"I thought it was the end," said a shaken traveler who wished to remain anonymous. "Turns out he [Breen] was just being annoying." 

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Breen, who has since been released on bail, apologized for the misunderstanding. 

"I was just trying to keep the crowd engaged and make the mundane more thrilling," Breen said. "I’m not trying to make anyone relive that tragic time in New York. And I am not just talking about the Knicks’ season."

As a result of the incident, Breen has been temporarily banned from all major airports in the United States. The measure means he’ll have to drive to each game of the Finals between Boston and Dallas a trip spanning over 1,800 miles every other day. 

Netflix has reportedly secured the broadcast rights to Breen’s road trip, in a new documentary special series entitled "Breen on the Road: Banging Across America."

For now, Breen's journey to and from the Finals will be a testament to his dedication to the sport, albeit on four wheels instead of wings. This new chapter in his storied career is a stark reminder to Never Forget even the most beloved voices in sports have to mind their surroundings.

End of the Bench will have more on this story after we BANG!