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Mattel’s Aaron Rodgers Magic Alibi 8-Ball
Look into the future.
By Rich Taylor
While best known as quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, a three-time NFL MVP, and a master of on-the-field improvisation, Aaron Rodgers is also a Hall of Fame-level alibi maker.
Now, you can take your excuse-making to All-Pro levels with Mattel’s Aaron Rodgers Magic Alibi 8-Ball.
Simply share an uncomfortable question or explain your predicament aloud, give the ball a shake and let Aaron Rodgers take care of the rest.
Let’s take it for a spin!
Have You Been Vaccinated against the COVID-19 virus? (note: you have not)
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: I have been immunized. (hey, you got a flu shot in 2018, so you’re still not technically lying!)
Do You Still Have the Trust of Your Teammates?
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: Hey, inside that locker room, is a team!
Were you Disappointed That You Did Not Get the Jeopardy Host Gig? (note: Yes, it completely ruined your “Demand a Trade to LA for Dual Career” Master Plan)
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: I had a blast helping out the folks at Jeopardy, but I’m an immunized QB in the NFL.
Will You re-sign With the Team Or Declare Free Agency?
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: My family and I love this city and its fans (if asked during the season). Ownership disrespected me with their lowball offers (if asked after the season).
The PERFECT gift for those in upper level management
Are You Considering Firing the Head Coach over the Bye Week? (note: Ideally, ASAP)
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: Are we where we want to be right now? No. But there’s still a lot of ball left to be played.
Will the Team’s Payroll Be Slashed This Off-Season? (note: It will.)
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: We like the direction we are going.
But wait, does the Aaron Rodgers Magic Alibi 8-Ball work outside of sports situations?
Absolutely! It works almost everywhere!
Dealing with your boss at work:
Did you read the memo I sent out over the weekend? (note: Nope.)
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: It’s clear that a whole lot of work went into this (hold document aloft).
Do you have time to help the team with the proposal due Monday?
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: Ooof. I don’t have much bandwidth. (note: you have the most bandwidth out of anyone in the office).
At home with your significant other:
Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?
Magic Alibi 8-Ball:
Hello? I’m Asking You If These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: Are you kidding? Those jeans are not doing that.
I Really Hope You Are Not Losing All Our Money on that gambling app. (note: you just lost the house)
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: Ha-Ha. Of course, I’m not (there’s always the home equity to fall back on).
And even while you are out and about!
Did you rob that bank?
Magic Alibi 8-ball: I withdrew some money.
Were you texting while driving when you hit that parked car?
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: No! (you were actually placing an online wager on a cricket match in Sri Lanka).
Is This Joke Racist?
Magic Alibi 8-Ball: I’m gonna go ahead and say all signs point to yes even without hearing it.
So next time you’re in a pinch looking for an answer to get out of whatever situation you find yourself in, do it with the Aaron Rodgers Magic Alibi 8-ball, available wherever Joe Rogan’s podcast studio is located.
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