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Madden 2023 Career Mode Allows Players to Avoid Legal Consequences for Their Crimes

As modern as the game today.

LOS ANGELES - In a bid to let gamers enjoy the full experience of being an NFL athlete, EA Sports announced Monday that the upcoming 2023 version of Madden, the longtime football video game franchise, will feature a career mode that will allow players to feel what it's like to commit crimes and avoid all legal consequences for their actions.

“Madden strives to give its fans the best on-field experience of the game,” said producer Sean Grady, who touted the update as one that will “revolutionize the Madden franchise, “Not only can you score touchdowns on your favorite quarterback’s passes, but you can also be in the shoes of star NFL players like Ray McDonald and feel what it’s like to be the subject of a sexual assault case right in the middle of your career.”

According to EA, the new feature will allow players to choose which crime they want to commit and when.

“We’re doing our best to go as in-depth as we can so that fans can follow in the footsteps of their favorite players like Ray Lewis, who gave misleading statements to the police about their whereabouts at the time of a murder, throwing their friends who were with them under the bus and getting two high profile lawyers to negotiate a plea deal for them even though the evidence was overwhelmingly damning,” said Grady, “If gamers want to go the extra mile, they also have the option of either giving a long interview justifying why they still deserve a spot on the roster after the crime or writing a tell-all book in a last-ditch effort to cleanse their image.”

Created characters will also be able to play in a Pro Bowl mood that features the NFL’s ‘Top 100 Almost Prisoners’ list, alongside famed NFL athletes who have been arrested for a felony crime at least once but managed to avoid serious jail time.

“What’s the fun in beating everyone with all-time greats like Tom Brady or Peyton Manning?” said Grady, “When you can have linebacker and level one sex offender Lawrence Taylor, or fullback Jim Brown, whose in-game persona will inform everyone that he definitely didn’t assault an 18-year-old girl in 1965, a young model in 1968, a 33-year-old woman in 1985, and his own fiancée in 1986.”

Keeping the new “bad boy” theme in mind, EA also said that the cover art of the new Madden will feature former Buffalo Bills running back OJ Simpson.

“Sure I made some mistakes when I was young, but that doesn’t mean I can’t profit from my reputation as an ALLEGED murderer,” said OJ as he perused kitchen knives at a nearby Bed Bath and Beyond.

Early excitement for the game has seen a renewed interest in the Madden franchise with many former players indicating anticipation for the game.

“I remember the heydays of my time as a professional,” said former Rams defensive end Leonard Little, “I’m looking forward to playing the game and reliving the best memories of my career, including when I only served 90 days for killing a woman while drunk driving.”

Madden 2023 is set to be released in August this year.

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