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Local Dad Blames Steph Curry for Decline of Fundamentals at YMCA

No more three-pointers!

By Dave Walden

AUSTIN - A local man is fed up with the current state of basketball at his neighborhood YMCA, and he is pointing fingers directly at NBA point guard and future Hall of Famer Stephen Curry.

Drew Hindsman, a 43-year-old dad of two and an IT program manager, recently laced up and headed to the local YMCA to check out the basketball pickup scene.

What he found was disturbing.

The event started off optimistically enough. He grabbed a semi-deflated ball out of the metal cage and attempted a few unsuccessful three-pointers to get the kinks out. A few laps around the court worked up a good sweat.

A critical mass of ten people arrived to start a standard 5-on-5 game. A young high schooler broke the ice and suggested a full-court game. All were in agreement.

As is standard tradition, free throws were shot to determine teams.

Uncharacteristically, Drew, the former Eureka College Summer Basketball Camp Free Throw Champion of 1995, missed his one and only shot. It would cost him dearly.

Drew surveyed his new teammates. He liked what he saw. Rounding out his team were four local high schoolers. Josh, Kal, Devon, and Myron all seemed like nice kids.

Drew quickly went to work matching them up with their foes. Years of experience and a pair of keen eyes allowed Drew to optimize matchups based on height and perceived ability.

“The guy in the red shirt is quick. That’s you Devon. Kal, you take black Nikes,” he conducted.

But Kal waved him off and called an audible. “Yeah, just guard the guy closest to you.”

Drew sized up his nearest opponent. The basketball gods had delivered a 6-6, 230-pound Goliath. Undaunted, Drew knew his commitment to fundamentals and teamwork would carry the day.

The teams debated scoring formats. Shirts versus skins was discussed. The dads firmly objected. The high schoolers didn’t appeal as there were no coeds in the gym.

The game began with instant excitement. Josh drove to the hoop and attempted a Seth Curry-like acrobatic shot over three defenders.

“Nice take, Josh,” yelled Drew, ever the supporter.

A few snappy passes later, Goliath collected the ball and blew past Drew with a quick spin move for an easy bucket.

“Nice take,” admired Drew.

The kids on Drew’s team roared back. Kal advanced the ball to the 3-point line. He dribbled four times between his legs, and with the defender fully in his face, he chucked up a brick.

Drew held out his hand for a high-five that Kal must not have seen. “That’s alright. It’ll fall,” Drew said.

Drew shuffled his feet as he guarded Goliath. But quickly he was snared in a pick, and Goliath smoothly sank a three pointer.

“Call out those picks, team” Drew belched.

Drew took the ball up the court. He fired a chest pass to Devon. Immediately he ran to the opposite side to set a pick for Myron. Pass and pick away, Drew’s high school coach used to say.

“Bro, what?” asked Myron.

“Pass and pick away,” said Josh.

Confused, Myron shrugged his shoulders. There was a loud clank. Josh had shot up another brick. Goliath rebounded. With five dribbles he coasted full court for an easy layup.

“Guys, the shots aren’t falling,” Drew said panting. “Let’s play some team ball. Let’s do a pick and roll. I’ll start-”

Kal took three dribbles to the free throw line, and as he rose up for his shot, his defender tossed the ball to half court, where Goliath took it in for a casual dunk.

“Move the ball. Let’s play like a team!” Drew screamed incensed.

Myron stepped back from the arch for a fade away airball three. With a swift rebound, Goliath lobbed the ball to a streaking teammate for an easy two. And just like that the game was over.

Sour and frustrated, Drew stalked out of the gym.

“Look at what Steph has done to the game," he muttered. 

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