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Little League Pitcher Begins Spring Training By Throwing Snowballs at Pedestrians

Dedicated to the game.

Lock him up.

By Nat Hrvatin

BUFFALO — Local little league pitcher Matty Diamond is taking a new approach to his routine this spring training, one that has his neighborhood “flustered,” End of the Bench has learned. 

Situated across the street from a popular park, Diamond’s training sessions have come under scrutiny due to his habit of throwing snowballs at unsuspecting passersby.

“Look, I’m the best pitcher in the league, without a doubt, and this is what I do to get ready,” Diamond stated while aiming a snowball at a mother walking a stroller. “And if people don’t like it, then they can walk somewhere else.”

The mother, Sam Fields, was less than enthused when reached for comment.

“I don’t want to overreact, and I am a mother, but I truly hope that child never finds happiness.” Fields remarked while brushing snow off of her coat. “I’m just lucky his aim is horrible. I walk here every day and this is the first time he’s been able to land a snowball. He better be ready tomorrow, because momma don’t play no games.”

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Other neighbors have already complained of Diamond’s irritating practice, putting pressure on the coaching staff to address the budding star’s behavior. 

Greg Diamond, Head Coach of “The Fiery Fastballs” and Matty’s dad, responded to the complaints early Tuesday morning. 

“I don’t know what they’re all butt hurt about. Nobody is dying here.” Greg shared while pelting a dog walker with a snowball to the face. “That boy ain’t got nothing on me.”

A source who wished to remain anonymous tells EOTB that despite the training, Matty has privately considered giving up baseball entirely, after recently being gifted an Xbox for his birthday.

“Trust me, as soon as the weather warms up, that kid will be back inside,” the source added. “No way he’ll be ready for opening day.” 

End of the Bench will have more as soon as we pack this last snowball.

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