End of the Bench

Share this post

Kyrie Irving Demands Trade to The Dimension Between Space and Time

www.endofthebenchsports.com

Kyrie Irving Demands Trade to The Dimension Between Space and Time

To infinity, and beyond.

Mar 29, 2023
2
Share
Share this post

Kyrie Irving Demands Trade to The Dimension Between Space and Time

www.endofthebenchsports.com

By Connor Adams

DALLAS - Recently acquired point guard Kyrie Irving has officially requested a trade from the Dallas Mavericks, sources tell End of the Bench, specifically asking the team to “send him to the dimension between space and time.” 

The Mavericks become the latest team to endure the wake of Kyrie Irving’s temperament after the All-Star pushed his way out of Cleveland, Boston, and Brooklyn. 

He’s now reportedly “dead set on leaving this earthly body and exploring the fabric of existence itself.”

“I really enjoy playing with Luka and the Mavericks, but I just need to be me and see if it's possible if this corporeal form is limiting my ability to speak to the cosmos and retrieve the orb of truth,” Irving said when reached for comment.

Sources say that while Kyrie enjoys the team’s chemistry in Dallas, he feels constricted by playing for an organization with only earthlings and nobody with “otherworldly powers or the capability to bend the space-time continuum.”

Thank you for reading End of the Bench! Share this post or we’ll make you become teammates with Kyrie.

Share

“After 30 years on this flat earth, I think it is time for me to see what else is out there, hopefully, people are less critical of what you tweet in other dimensions,” Irving said while attempting to lift a car with his mind outside the Maverick’s practice facility.

While the talent cannot be denied, Irving’s continuous demands and off-court behavior are a worrying sign for other potential teams interested in him, especially those that do not contain space lords or beings with mystical abilities.

End of the Bench managed to reach one of those beings, and when asked, the overlord of a dimension that exists beneath the concept of time, who requested anonymity, expressed concern over Kyrie's attitude. 

“If he can’t handle playing with KD or not starting every game, how will he handle the universe collapsing into a grain of sand every billionth of a second as we transcend enlightenment?” said the overlord. “It takes a team guy to achieve true ethereal transcendence, and I am not sure he’s the best fit for our organization.”

That sentiment is being echoed across NBA circles, too.

“You’d have to be a completely broken and desperate franchise to want that guy on your team right now,” an NBA executive who also requested anonymity tells EOTB. “He’ll be a Knick by this time next season.”

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.

Thanks for reading End of the Bench! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work.

Related stories:

End of the Bench
Kyrie Irving Aspires to be Good Influence for Young, Impressionable Conspiracy Theorists
By Zach Hankins & Drew Lucas NEW YORK - Despite being under fire for his strong stance against New York City’s COVID-19 vaccine mandate and his decision to not get vaccinated, Brooklyn Nets point guard Kyrie Irving is still looking to try and make an impact on his community…
Read more
2 years ago
End of the Bench
“Space Jam: A New Legacy” Convinces Kyrie Irving Life Is Just A Cartoon
NEW YORK - Brooklyn Nets star point guard Kyrie Irving is now “100% convinced” the world is just an animated cartoon after seeing an early premiere of “Space Jam: A New Legacy” earlier this week. Irving took in the film, which features his former teammate LeBron James, at a special screening for friends and family Thursday and came away “shook…
Read more
2 years ago · End Of The Bench Sports
End of the Bench
Brooklyn Nets Unveil New Tin Foil Uniform For 2022-23 NBA Season
By Ryan Fleishman BROOKLYN - The Nets have revealed a new uniform design made entirely from tin foil for use throughout the 2022-23 season. The tin foil uniform, created at the behest of Kyrie Irving, will feature a crinkly, grey design that blocks all 5G, RFID, electromagnetic fields, and other forms of mind control that opposing teams might try to enact…
Read more
8 months ago
2
Share
Share this post

Kyrie Irving Demands Trade to The Dimension Between Space and Time

www.endofthebenchsports.com
Previous
Next
Comments
Top
New
Community

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 End Of The Bench Sports
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing