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How to Tell If You’re in Love with the Flyers’ Mascot, Gritty
You've been bitten by the Gritty bug.
By Nat Hrvatin
Give yourself one point for every statement that fits your current situation.
1. You put on your dating profile that you’re looking for “a guy who makes you laugh, and is also seven feet tall.”
2. You’re a fan of practical jokes, especially ones that involve smacking someone in the face with a sheet cake.
3. You dream of one-day meeting someone with an enormous amount of social media clout.
4. You like a man with a sense of style; someone who’s willing to change up his look. One day a cowboy, the next, Kim Kardashian.
5. Every time you hear something squeak, you experience the Pavlovian urge to caress a fuzzy, orange beard.
6. At your last eye doctor appointment, you asked if attaching googly eyes to your glasses would affect your glasses’ prescription.
7. If someone were to insult your dream guy, you would drop the mitts on their disrespectful ass.
1-4 points: You might be in love with Gritty, but you also might be in love with Pete Davidson.
5-7 points: Start preparing your proposal to the true love of your life: Gritty. Perhaps you can buy him a belly ring that coordinates with his purple belly button.
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