Highlights And Lowlights: Shohei Ohtani

Human or Machine?

HIGHLIGHT: Great baseball skills can be attributed to childhood years of playing with Godzilla, King Kong, Ghidorah, and other kaiju.

LOWLIGHT: Makes baseball look like a fairly easy game, which it mostly is.

HIGHLIGHT: Often compared to Babe Ruth because of his impressive hitting & pitching stats and the raging bellyaches he gets before every game.

LOWLIGHT: Still doesn’t have a food item named after him.

HIGHLIGHT: Amassed 162 career home runs in the MLB and has personally apologized to each of those 162 balls for hitting them so hard.

LOWLIGHT: Mother still not impressed at 0.273 career-hitting average.

HIGHLIGHT: Signed a $30 million contract with the Angels before he found out that Anaheim wasn’t a part of Los Angeles.

LOWLIGHT: Looks better in a photoshopped Yankees jersey.

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HIGHLIGHT: Excellent pitcher that has sent hundreds of professional baseball players crying back to their mommas.

LOWLIGHT: Often rips the heart out of the catcher with his fastball.

HIGHLIGHT: Voted by his teammates as the 2021 and 2022 LA Angels Player of the Year Award, at least by those who know how to vote.

LOWLIGHT: Yet to beat Mike Trout at Call of Duty.

HIGHLIGHT: Can play as a designated hitter, outfield player, starting pitcher, baseman, coach, umpire, or MLB commissioner.

LOWLIGHT: Can’t say exactly how good he is until he plays in the Little League.

HIGHLIGHT: One of the most famous celebrities in Japan.

LOWLIGHT: Not yet a household name in America, because half the American households can’t pronounce his name.

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