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God Launches Sports Talk Radio Show
He knows ball.
By Dave Henry
HEAVEN - The Almighty God has a new venture, sports talk radio, and it is coming to a smart speaker near you.
The GodSports Radio show is designed to combine His love of sports, with His power of prognostication. And He takes no prisoners when it comes to His hot sports takes.
"I will settle the debate once and for all on who I actually am rooting for," said God. “I can't tell you how annoyed I get every time an athlete invokes My name as if I had something to do with their success. The arrogance, as if I don’t have more important things to do. It's pure poppycock. Sports is a fun hobby for me, nothing more.”
In an exclusive interview with End of the Bench, God revealed that He actually roots against some teams and players, and on His new radio show, He will name names.
"You know, I liked Tebow -- nice kid, but did not like his coach," said God. "So you tell me, who do I root for in a case where I like some of the players, but don't like others? These are some of the hot topics we'll discuss every afternoon, Monday through Friday, from 3:00 to 6:00."
And God won't shy away from the tough topics either, like who would win in a fight, Him or Zeus?
"Zeus? Please. Nothing but a straight-up poser," God said. "He stole my whole thing -- the cloud, the beard, the flowing white hair -- but he knows what's what. Lightning bolts? Really? I invented lightning bolts! That guy wouldn't even last a round in the ethereal ring with me."
In addition to hot sports takes, God will make daily predictions, and given his flawless track record, bettors will want to be dialed in every afternoon at 5:30 pm for his Daily “Blessed Bets” segment to get in on the action.
He will also have on the hottest guests, both dead and alive.
Just last week, He had on the ghost of Abraham Lincoln to talk NFL football. Honest Abe pulled no punches when it came to analyzing and dissecting his favorite team, the Chicago Bears.
“Curse those fiddleheaded Bears,” said the ghost of Lincoln. “I haven’t seen such incompetence on the field since McClellan at Antietam.”
God simply “loves the content.”
"One thing TV got right is that ghosts love TV," said God. "There's really nothing else to do so Abe spends a lot of time watching TV -- and football is his game, so you better believe he has a lot to say after all these years.”
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