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Draft Bust? Wembanyama Still Hasn’t Won a Single NBA Championship

What a loser.

By Devin Wallace

SAN ANTONIO - After the Spurs fell to 3-7 in their first ten games, sources tell End of the Bench that many around the NBA are saying that first-overall pick Victor Wembanyama is a bust, after failing to win an NBA Championship.

Executives around the league are confident their own teams avoided a “disaster,” saying Wembanyama’s career - all ten regular season games - has been a “massive disappointment.”

“He [Wembanyama] should have completed twenty full seasons in the league by now,” said an anonymous NBA front-office official, whose team is near the bottom of the standings. “He should have made fifteen All-Star teams and been inducted into the Hall of Fame at least. I think we can all definitely agree that he’s been incredibly disappointing to watch. What a catastrophic waste of talent and oxygen.”

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Spurs fans, once over the moon to draft Wembanyama, have since turned on the 19-tear-old center due to his lack of multiple NBA championships.

“He’s a bum, he’s a bust, he’s a fraud,” said Spurs fan Buster Riggs, taking the packaging off his new Wembanyama jersey before burning it. “He said he wanted to win a title this year. Well, we’re already one-eighth of the way through the season, and look how many he’s gotten us. None!”

Wembanyama agreed with his critics, saying it is unfortunate he can’t bend the space-time continuum to win events that haven’t happened yet.

“I’ve got to get better at tearing the fabric of reality,” said the rookie, studying film of Jokic’s post moves and Einstein’s theory of relativity. “I’m the leader of this team; so it’s on me to know how to traverse through time and bring those future championships to the present. Until that time, I will be as washed as many people online are saying I am.”

That attitude has only angered fans more.

“Of course, he’s being humble, what a moron,” a Spurs fan who wished to remain anonymous told EOTB. “Anybody worth their lick knows that true superstars antagonize the media through deceptive comments and abrasive behavior. Cut him tomorrow, Pop!”

End of the Bench will have more as this young man’s career develops.

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