Caitlin Clark “Adjusting” to Having Her Ass Kicked

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INDIANAPOLIS - Fever point guard Caitlin Clark, once a college basketball prodigy at the University of Iowa, is now gracefully adjusting to her new reality in the WNBA: having her ass kicked. 

The latest chapter in Clark's continued physical assault unfolded last week when Chicago Sky guard Chennedy Carter delivered a shoulder shot that sent Clark to the floor during an inbound pass.

Initially dismissed as a common foul by officials, the play was later upgraded to a flagrant-1 violation, underscoring the brutality Clark has faced early on in her professional career. 

“I’ve always dreamed of playing in the WNBA,” said Clark, wincing as she attempted to reattach her arm to her shoulder. “This is definitely what I, and many other young aspiring women around the country dream of every night. Having the living shit kicked out of us on a professional level.”

Adding salt to her wounds, Chicago rookie and Clark’s long-time rival at LSU, Angel Reese, was seen on camera jumping off the bench and cheering the foul after it happened.

“Good defense, even better call,” Reese said when reached for comment. “Her shoulder barely fell out of its socket, I don’t see the problem.” 

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WNBA insiders and those around the league have framed Clark’s relentless ass-beatings as valuable learning experiences for the first-year player.

“Every rookie needs to understand the league’s physicality,” said future WNBA Hall of Famer Diana Taurasi. “And what better way than repeatedly introducing them to the hardwood face-first? It builds character. And by character, I mean deep scars.”

With the level of physicality stepping up a notch, many basketball fans have asked, will she adapt to the WNBA’s cutthroat environment? 

For now, Clark remains optimistic. 

“It’s certainly been an adjustment, but I’m learning a lot,” she said, moving her ice pack and wincing. “Specifically how to treat deep bone bruises and lacerations, but still, it’s been a great learning experience in the WNBA.”

End of the Bench will have more on this story after we take an ice bath.

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