BREAKING: Couple Really Going for It on Kiss Cam

By Devin Wallace

NEW YORK - Sources at Madison Square Garden have confirmed reports that two fully-grown adults are absolutely going for it on the Jumbotron Kiss Cam, seemingly oblivious that their aggressive spit-swapping is visible to all 20,789 people in the arena.

Knicks camera operator Riley Hicks was the first to capture footage of the two lovers seated in Section 19.

“Most people are a little embarrassed and give a quick peck,” said Hicks while tweeting the footage to The Tonight Show. “These two looked like they trained their whole lives for this. No hesitation. They barely looked at the camera before diving down each other’s throats.”

Jason Breen, attending the game with his nine-year-old son Henry, was at a loss for words.

“Kids shouldn’t have to see that,” said Breen, trying to distract his son by explaining the intricacies of the triangle offense. “I don’t mean adults kissing, that’s fine, I mean the way those two are doing it. So much tongue, so much teeth, I think she bit his Adam’s Apple at one point? Horrifying.”

Little information is known about the kissers, as they wasted no time giving indications if they even knew each other before going at it like frenzied animals in front of the sold-out crowd. Conflicting reports say the woman either shouted the name “Lewis” or the phrase “Lose it,” as she did manage to take off her partner’s hat and jacket during the Kiss Cam escapade.

Arena officials have not yet issued an official statement, although they seem to be avoiding the incident, choosing to move directly into a “Kia Half Court Shot” promotion without any further comment.

End of the Bench will have more as this story develops.