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Belichick Sets the Tone for Patriots Winning Season Without Tom Brady

Life is different without you, Tom.

By Mary E. McCartneyThe New England Patriots had their first training camp practice open to the public on July 28, 2021, at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, MA. End of the Bench has received an exclusive secret recording of Bill Belichick’s pre-practice pep talk, the transcript of which can be read below. OK, team, we need to have a difficult conversation about last season. I know it was tough because we lost our hero quarterback, Tom Brady. We had more losses than wins. But let’s turn that around today and set the tone for a winning season. Before we get going today, Let’s talk about teamwork. About fundamentals. About perseverance. About focus. And, most importantly, about… Jarrett – put down that crochet hook! This is serious! You never saw Brady wasting time on needlework before practice! First, let’s talk about what we did right last season. Give Nick a pat on the back for last season’s field goal record - good job Nick! Now, the most important thing—like I said-- is focus! You got that? Focus! And… Hey! Deatrich! This is not the time to be reading “The Artist's Way”. Where was I? Yes, focus. And mental toughness. Wait a minute! Stephon! Shut off your damn phone! We are well aware of your 173-day streak on Duolingo French! As I was saying,  it didn’t help that a lot of guys were out with COVID and injuries last season. But we are a team with depth and skill, and we need to be able to overcome things out of our control and count on each other. Hey! Dalton! Isaiah! Sony! Step away from that jigsaw puzzle! Let’s talk defense - You have got to up your game. Other teams killed us with their running game! We’ve got to set the edge, and… What? No, Winovich went home – bad hair day. OK, let’s talk offense. First of all, we have to do a better job protecting Cam in the pocket. He needs more time to find an open receiver. Cam! Put that copy of “What Color is Your Parachute?” back on the shelf! You can read it when my sons are done. Look guys, We can do this. We have an opportunity to have an amazing comeback year. Speaking of comebacks, remember Super Bowl 51? We were down 21 to 3 at halftime. And we came back and won it 34 to 28! Tom was masterful! That game-winning overtime touchdown drive! What a game! Devin! What the hell are you doing with your mom’s sourdough starter? You don’t see Brady wasting his time baking bread! He doesn’t even eat gluten! What was I saying? Oh, right, Tom. We are not here to talk about Brady. Brady is the past, and we are about the future. And those five Patriots Super Bowl wins were all thanks to my impeccable strategizing – Brady was just along for the ride! And last season’s Super Bowl win by the Bucs? Dumb luck. Guys! What are you doing putting on your Speedos and combing gelatin through your hair? What? No! The pool is strictly for physical therapy! You may not use it to practice your synchronized swimming! Just because we had a terrible season without Brady, doesn’t mean he was responsible for our historic winning streak before that. We’re back on track! Let’s show the fans what the New England Patriots stand for! Brilliant tactics! Unbridled enthusiasm! Impeccable ethics! All right, any questions? What? No, Jakobi, you cannot watch “Grace and Frankie” between plays.


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