By Divyansh Kulshrestha

Caddie

A person bound by 1000-year-old satanic rituals to carry a golfer’s bag full of clubs.

Hole-In-One 

The only thing your father has done in his life that he’s proud of.

Eagle

Common collective term for large birds of prey within the family Accipitridae.

Fairway

Stretch of shorter grass where you will generally spend 2-3 hours driving in circles trying to find the ball.

Hazard

Any part of the course that might make the game slightly more infuriating; including sand traps, water bodies, or the homeless man who runs out into the fairway to steal your ball.

Green

An area of finely trimmed grass where it is recommended that you lie down and take a nap.

Out of Bounds

The heavily wooded area or parking lot where you should run after missing an easy putt.

Double Bogey

An advanced, scarier, and more lethal version of the Boogeyman.

Waggle

A pre-shot routine where you can practice how to act embarrassed and come up with excuses once you mess up the shot.

Putter

A special golf club for players who like big putts and they cannot lie.

Ryder Cup 

An international golf tournament that has become the preferred method for settling territorial disputes along the Mid-Atlantic Ridge.

Divot

An indentation of the fairway, rough or green left during the tantrum you throw after your awful stroke.